As a result, dating in Japan is usually quite easy for men. For some reason Japanese women seem to find even ugly foreign guys attractive ….. All in all, it is comparably easy for a Western foreign man to find a Japanese woman or to have a nice relationship here in Japan. For some guys it really gets to their heads and they start bragging about it like crazy as part of the superstar syndrome. The complete opposite is the case for Western foreign women in Japan. As a result it is extremely tough to find a date as a foreign woman here in Japan.
Some of us will go through a hard time here in Japan.
What does a desperate woman look like
It might be a different story in bigger cities such as Tokyo and Osaka with a more international community, but in smaller cities and in the countryside with more traditional ideals it can be very difficult for foreign women. I personally know a few couples where either the man or the woman is foreign and I noticed quite a lot of differences in the kind of relationship they have. Please note that the following is based on my personal experience and that not everybody out there is like that. In relationships where the man is foreign I noticed that they mostly speak his native language.
One big problem seems to be the fact that in Japan the man earns the money , but the woman takes care of it! The man only gets a small allowance every week or month and needs to ask his wife for permission if he wants to spend any more of his own hard-earned money! Foreign guys often seem to struggle with this system. I noticed that those kind of relationships seem to work out better if they live in his home country and not in Japan. She has studied Japanese properly or puts in a lot of effort to improve her Japanese ability even if the Japanese man can speak her native tongue.
The man seems to accept that she wants to keep working even after marriage. All the couples I know of have a relatively harmonic relationship. Of course, there are enough reasons for disputes, but all in all they seem to manage better than couples where the man is foreign. All I want you to keep in mind is that as a guy you should not let it get to your head because suddenly you get all this attention from beautiful women. And as a foreign girl you should keep in mind that your time in Japan — at least in terms of romantic relationships — could be quite lonely at times.
As you said, everyone has their own experience, and from a language perspective, I find it interesting that, while it is my case we speak French at home, as we ended up moving here well before I knew anything about the Japanese language , every other bi-national couple that I know in town speak Japanese at home, regardless of who is the foreigner in the couple.
She can manage a budget, I suck at it, it makes sense that she do it. A very interesting point. Maybe you can also write a blog about the differences in behaviour of Japanese and western men? For us women who are interested in dating a Japanese man, to avoid any troubles. I believe that Japanese men are more polite and serious than western men, at least, the Dutch ones I dated: Thank you very much. The universal trait is that guys are quite interested in that aspect of relationships.
Japanese Men + Western Women = Yes? No? Maybe?
There are so many taller guys out there as well. I needed one pretty bad. On arrival found out all the women working there were Chinese. Her massage was really great…. I do massage for family and friends, and when I got a massage that is crap, it is quite frustrating. Out of the blue she said that the guys in the US were bigger than the Chinese guys. It seemed to me she had done a lot of massages and seen a lot of Chinese and US guys. You are so right! I remember your blog from a few years ago. I used to read it a lot, but then just lost sight of it!
The Shocking Truth About Dating in Japan as a Foreigner
Thinking back, I think you might be onto something with foreign women having an interest in language and culture and that being a requisite for a relationship with Japanese guys. Mind, most of my acquaintances and friends that got married to a Japanese party have studied Japanese studies, so there you go. But more women got married to Japanese men than men married to Japanese women, hmm….
Most of that is in the lewd category though, i. Dating in any culture is interesting but then to thrown in cross-cultural dating with all the hidden agendas is a complicated load to deal with. What seems to be missing is a true connection and intimacy. So I guess the lesson is not to settle in life. By the way, I enjoy reading your insightful postings. At least I hope the humor is intentional.
I look forward to reading more! Talking about relationships, no matter if cross-cultural or not, is always complicated as each is very unique and has its own story. So the mistakes are not intentional, but the humor is!
Articles, Offers & Useful Resources
Lots of foreign guys end up with really average and below average Japanese women after being in the bars every night of the week looking. Guys with skills will do better elsewhere. The men who stay all end up getting married, right? The reality is, hooking up with Japanese chicks is a ton of work. Can you do it if you stay out late every night? But you can do that anywhere.
- What do Japanese men think about dating foreign women?!
- Your browser is outdated?
- 1. Subtlty;
What you said makes perfect sense to me. If you are a western guy with decent social skills, you might do better elsewhere. Having said this, if you are willing to put effort into understanding the culture, nothing will stop you from dating Japanese girls. When I first came to Japan I thought the western men had it easy, too. Have flocks of women come to them without lifting a finger! In contrast, western women have to put in a ton of effort just to get a guy to respond back to a text message. But then, after living in Japan and later China for a long time, I started to spend more time with your average Japanese woman at the office.
I also started to see what kind of Japanese women my western-man-friends were typically dating. At first, I was jealous because Japanese women are nice, polite, absolutely adorable—basically, something I could not compete with. I realized that like in most countries, probably finding a decent Japanese woman is hard.
Someone who is not only cute, but honest and interesting and looking for companionship is especially hard to find in Japan. While it may be nice to get some girls at the bar, I think western men must find it hard to find a Japanese woman that they would actually want to have a long-term relationship with unless all they cared about was having a chick that looks hot. As for us women: It sucks that we have to put in way more effort than we should to get a man.
In the USA, I walk into a bar and usually by the end of the night I guarantee a few guys will approach me. In Japan, this hardly ever happens. But who knows, maybe all that hard work and effort into getting a man helps us get a higher quality partner in the long run. But to be honest, I thought a majority of Japanese men were quite strange so I eventually gave up on trying to find a Japanese boyfriend.
And I have to disagree with foreign women speaking better Japanese than men.
I also want to say that I love the photos on your website! Keep up the good work: Thank you so much for sharing your experience with us! While reading I felt like standing up and screaming: Being so fake, putting tons of make-up in their faces and speaking like cute little anime characters is certainly not something most sane guys are looking for.
B-b-b-but men should approach me!health-with-magnets.com/map10.php
What’s Dating Like in Japan for Foreign Women?
Japanese girls are so boring and uninteresting! Cry me a river sweet-heart.
I thought I had it easy in America, but when I went to Japan just for a week it was like playing life on beginner mode. I consider myself a reasonably attractive guy fit, confident, etc. Women approach me in bars, come up to me to dance at clubs, and I do well for myself on Okcupid and Tinder. But nothing prepared me for how overtly forward Japanese women can be with their attraction.